“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
— James Baldwin.
The other day, I was very frustrated with how one of my sons was acting. He was frustrated with some of his friends and raised his voice a bit. He was upset that they couldn’t complete some basic tasks quickly enough when he wanted to move on to the next step and tackle the more interesting work ahead of them. So, he was giving them a hard time.
I was going to step in and correct him, and then I paused for a minute and realized he was acting just like me. I am extremely impatient with people who cannot stay focused and do not get work done quickly.
We can talk all day about discipline, gratitude, and integrity.
But our kids aren’t shaped by what we say — they’re shaped by what we do, what we say, and how we behave. Even our attitude can rub off on our kids.
They see how we handle pressure.
They watch how we treat their moms.
They observe how you approach and overcome problems (this is an important one).
They notice if we keep our promises — even the small ones.
Every day, whether we realize it or not, we’re running a live demonstration of how to live.
That’s why your actions are your greatest parenting strategy.
Teach Systems Over Giving Speeches
Words fade. Systems endure.
A “system” is the daily structure your kids can rely on:
- Morning routines that start with gratitude.
- Family dinners that start with respect.
- A commitment to honesty — even when it’s uncomfortable.
- A work ethic that stays steady through setbacks.
When you live these systems, your kids learn that discipline isn’t punishment — it’s a path.
They won’t need lectures about resilience; they’ll see it in motion when you fall, pause, and get back up.
My soon-to-be ten-year-old has started to join me at my Saturday morning coffee show, working on content for The Day Warrior.
I love that he comes because he is learning what it means to wake up early, even on the weekend, to get some valuable work done. His task is to have extra reading time to achieve some of the reading goals we set for him.
Make Sure to Take The Mirror Test
Ask yourself: Would I want my kids to copy what they see in me today?
It’s a hard question — but it’s the only one that matters.
If the answer is “not yet,” that’s your starting point.
You don’t need perfection. You need consistency.
Because your kids aren’t looking for flawless — they’re looking for real.
They learn that real men fail, reflect, and return stronger.
This can be difficult for many of us, because it is hard for us to maintain discipline and consistency in our own lives. It is not an easy thing to do, but it is an opportunity to add this improvement to both your life and that of your child.
For me, I always look in the mirror and want to make sure my kids do not see fear or stress in me. More accurately, I want my kids to see how I handle stress and worry.
I had a significant amount of stress bordering on living in fear earlier in my life. I brought a considerable amount of work stress and anxiety home from my job. It was written all over my face, and they probably often wondered why Dad was always so exhausted. To this day, I worry about what negative impact that had on my boys’ earlier lives.
I have learn to deal with this stuff without medication through exercise and facing any challenges and problems head-on. A big incentive was the question that I started this section with. My answer was that I wanted my boys to observe a dad who could calmly face his fears and worries, and move forward with courage and conviction.
I am not perfect, but I am definitely headed in the right direction.
Play The Long Game, Don’t Fret Short Term Setbacks
None of us is perfect.
There is no step-by-step manual for parentling.
Parenting isn’t about the moment your child listens.
It’s about the day, years later, when they act out the values you modeled.
When your son refuses to quit after failure — that’s your influence.
When your daughter keeps her word — even when no one’s watching — that’s your legacy.
You’re not just raising kids.
You’re building the next generation of disciplined, honest, and resilient adults.
That’s the ultimate Dad Hack — living your lessons out loud.
I cannot count the number of times I have lost my temper with my boys. Most of the time, it’s a mistake to lose your emotional control with your boys. It is not the example you want to set because it teaches them to lose their shit when they are upset about something.
Just last week, I laid into my oldest before bedtime. He partially deserved it because of how he was talking to his mom, but probably not as much as I threw at him.
The next morning, I talked to him about how I was sorry about getting that angry at him, but also explained to him that the attitude towards his mom was not appropriate. I tried to turn the negative into a positive to demonstrate my self-reflection and effort to maintain discipline. More importantly, I wanted to show him that I am not perfect either, but that does not mean I should give up when I lose my discipline.
This Week’s Challenge
Pick one principle you want your kids to see — discipline, gratitude, honesty, resilience — and model it intentionally for seven days.
Let them see your effort. Let them see your struggle. Let them see your follow-through.
Lessons seen are lessons remembered.
継続は力なり — “Consistency is strength.”
Keep leading by example, Dad. That’s how you build warriors.
If you keep a journal, write down your experiences for the week.
The Day Warrior
Hey everyone, first off—thank you so much for being part of this community and loving the content I create. Your views, likes, and comments mean the world to me and keep me motivated to bring you more of what you enjoy.
If you want to take your support to the next level and help me continue producing high-quality content, check out my exclusive merchandise in The Day Warrior Online Store!
How to find more content from The Day Warrior: https://thedaywarrior.bio.link (this includes links to my newsletter signup, store, and more).
Like what you read? Stay connected and receive weekly insights to keep you moving forward straight to your inbox.
“Never blindly accept what you read online. Always challenge it with an open and critical mind.”
– The Day Warrior
