“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston Churchill
What is it that you fear most in life? Is there something that keeps you up at night?
What is fear? In its most basic sense, fear is an emotional response triggered by a perceived threat, danger, or potential real or imagined harm.
In some cases, fear is something that protects us. It is good to be fearful of being fearful of wild animals when hiking alone in the wilderness. It is also okay to be afraid of the “bad guys” when walking in a dangerous neighborhood. These things keep you alive.
Some fears are irrational and emotional only. This is where the acronym F-E-A-R comes into play.
False Evidence Appearing Real
This interpretation suggests that fear is often based on imagined or exaggerated threats rather than actual dangers.
The F-E-A-R of failure is often an imagined or exaggerated threat. There might be financial or schedule setbacks when we fail. Sometimes, when we fail, we have feelings of embarrassment. The feelings are sometimes so strong that we avoid taking action to prevent failure altogether.
Reframing Failure
The key to facing failure is reframing it from something we should fear to an opportunity to build the critical experience we need to be successful in life.
Failure is not something to fear or hide from. It is a challenge. We sometimes have to work hard to find a solution for it. A locked door we are trying to open.
The glass half-empty view is that each challenge could lead to failure. The more optimistic view is that every challenge may open doors to new experiences and opportunities we never thought possible.
Why is facing our failure critical to our success?
Embrace failure as part of the process. It’s a stepping stone to resilience and eventual success.
Facing our mistakes is critical to self-improvement and building the experience we need to be successful. It is an influential teacher and a catalyst for growth.
- It Helps You to Build Resistance. Failure teaches us how to recover from setbacks and develop mental toughness.
When I lived in Japan, I had to learn how to survive using a new language. Before moving to Japan, I studied Japanese in the US, but studying and applying your knowledge in a real-world situation are two different things. As Mike Tyson famously states, “Everybody has a plan until the get punched in the mouth.”
This quote illustrates that no matter how well-prepared or studied we might be, real-world application of what we learned may bring unexpected challenges. It was the same for me, and what I learned in the classroom was not working as expected when applied to shopping, ordering coffee, or trying to have a casual discussion at the sports club I often went to.
I could have given up after a few failures and embarrassing experiences, but I kept practicing and applying what I had learned. Each failure we overcome strengthens our ability to persevere when facing challenges.
Ultimately, I had a successful twenty-two-year career, a house, a wife, two wonder boys, and a couple of cats and dogs. Success. - Encourages Learning And Growth. Failure reveals weaknesses and areas for improvement.
Years ago, I sent an unkind email to a coworker I meant to leave off the cc list I responded to. Even though this person probably deserved my comments, I learned from my mistake. The mistake was not, “Next time, I should be more careful about who is on my cc list.” The mistake was talking crap about someone in an email. It should have been addressed directly to that person or not said at all.
From that experience, I learned important lessons about business communication. By analyzing what went wrong, I refined my skills, strategy, and approach to business communication. This experience enabled me to apply this knowledge to all aspects of my life and turn mistakes into opportunities for growth. - Fosters Innovation. Breakthroughs and innovation come from facing our failures.
I hate to use this example because it has been repeated too many times, but it is the best example of failures fostering innovation. Edison famously failed thousands of times to create a functional light bulb. Instead of being discouraged, he viewed each failure as a step closer to success, stating, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” These failures led him to innovate and eventually discover the right materials and design, revolutionizing modern lighting.
Facing our failures encourages us to be creative. If we give up, everything ends, but continued experimentation allows us to find new ways to solve problems. - Promotes Humility and Determination. Success brings confidence, but failure brings the necessary humility and experience to succeed. It reminds us that we are not infallible and must learn and improve continuously.
A real-world example of this would be Steve Jobs’s journey with Apple. In 1985, Jobs was ousted from the company he co-founded, a humbling experience that forced him to reflect on his leadership style and vision. Instead of giving up, he used this setback to fuel his determination. He founded NeXT and acquired Pixar, which expanded his skills and experience. When he returned to Apple in 1997, he brought a renewed focus and humility, leading the company to unprecedented success with innovations like the iPod, iPhone, and MacBook.
I am not a mind reader, but it is safe to say that these experiences taught Jobs the importance of learning, adapting, and improving—lessons that shaped his legacy as a visionary leader.
How does this apply to your situation? Does facing your failures and mistakes keep you grounded, foster humility, and enhance your self-awareness? All three are essential for personal growth. - Reinforces Discipline and Determination. Failure and mistakes test our commitment to our goals. Discipline in the face of failure is a superpower. Many people give up after each error, thinking that the mistake they made is a sign that the goals they set for themselves are wrong. This could not be further from the truth.
I moved back to the United States a few years ago after living more than twenty-two years in Japan. My dream was to live and work in Japan. My decision to return to the United States was based on two primary goals. The first was related to my own personal and career growth. The second was to expose my two young boys to life in America. I wanted them to experience the same things I did as a child.
Out of the gate, I thought I had made a mistake returning to the United States. I hated my new job, and I did not like the place we were going to live. The food was horrible, the weather was intolerable, and it was boring. Even the sun rarely shone where we had moved.
I struggled with this. I could have given in to my feelings but instead found discipline in what I could control. I remained committed to my daily walking, got the kids involved in sports that they enjoyed, which kept me busy, and committed regular time in the local library to improve my skills stack and focus on finding a role I wanted.
The result was that we made many good friends in that new home. We spent a few days over a recent Christmas break so my boys could spend time with their friends. By remaining disciplined in the face of failure, I ultimately found a role with a new company that was on par with the quality of work, pay, and responsibility. I finally justified the sacrifices I made to give up my wonderful home in Japan.
When you make a mistake, do not give up. Stay disciplined. Learn to adapt. Push forward through all the adversity you might face. It is discipline to execute even in the face of failure that turns a short-term loss into a long-term win.
Each failure we face forces us to either give up or learn to think critically to find alternative solutions, strengthening our problem-solving abilities. This, in turn, boosts our confidence because we can prove to ourselves that we can successfully navigate difficult situations and come out stronger.
By reframing failures and opportunities, we also redefine success. Failure helps us to reevaluate what success means. It shifts our focus from the short-term to long-term, meaningful achievement.
When we face failure head-on, we embrace the discomfort and uncertainty required to grow. We are transforming obstacles into stepping stones leading to success.
How to reframe failure as an opportunity?
It is always easier to say something than to actually do something. Reframing failure as an opportunity involves shifting one’s mindset from viewing it as a dead end or a loss to viewing it as a learning experience. This learning experience builds resilience, fosters growth, and opens new doors.
- Adjust your perspective. Your old view might be that failure is the opposite of success. Instead, think about each failure as a part of the journey toward success. Not only that, but it is a necessary part of the journey. Each setback we face provides valuable lessons, insights, and experiences. In the future, when something does not work out, ask yourself, “What did I learn, and how can I apply what I learned next time?”
- Separate failure from your identity. When you fail at something, do you equate yourself to that failure? Do you find yourself saying, “I failed, so I am a failure?” Do not do that! Instead, separate the failure from your identity. Say instead, “I experienced a failure, but I am capable of growth and success.” Reframe failure as a temporary event and not a permanent label or limit to your abilities. Failure is not a defining characteristic.
- Always find a lesson in the setback. Failure does not mean you are not good enough. Throw away that way of thinking. Instead, embrace failure, which means you have discovered something that does not work and are better equipped to face this challenge again. Next time you have a setback, write it down and summarize what you have learned and what you can do differently next time.
- Focus on the future. Throw out the concept that failure closes doors. Instead, failures should be reframed as something that leads to unexpected new opportunities. Consider all the alternative paths that your setback revealed. Many successful people credit their failures for redirecting them toward better opportunities.
- Embrace a path of growth, not of failure. Many people make the mistake of believing success is something that should come easy. If you believe this, each failure to mentally become an insurmountable setback. A reason to give up. Instead, success should be reframed as a result of persistence, learning, and evolving through failures. Build systems of continuous improvements. Each failure is part of your system, your operating system, towards building mastery and experience.
- Share and normalize your failures. Don’t hide your failures. Instead, share your failures and the valuable lessons you have learned. Sharing failures helps others understand and builds resilience. Be open about your failures and what you learned. It builds credibility and authenticity and inspires others to keep going.
By framing failure as a necessary part of success, your turn setbacks into powerful learning experiences. You build new skills, open new doors that might have remained closed had you not tried and failed.
The Day Warrior
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