“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
— Stephen R. Covey
I’ll be honest—becoming a great listener didn’t come naturally to me. My journey to truly listening wasn’t a switch I flipped one day. It was a transition, a gradual realization that started long before fatherhood.
That transition began when I became a leader.
In my earlier years, communication was about being heard, about sharing my ideas and opinions, and about ensuring my voice was in the room. But when I stepped into leadership, I learned quickly that success wasn’t about how loud or persuasive I could be—it was about how well I could listen.
I remember so many conversations with my friends, sitting on the edge of my seat, ignoring the point they were trying to make, only eager to start talking again to get my point across.
I began to see that a team’s success doesn’t hinge on one person’s voice, but on how well the leader understands, supports, and empowers everyone. And that starts with listening. Listening to frustrations. Listening to ideas. Listening to unspoken challenges.
When I started listening to my team and letting them own the moment, I found that they were able to create and deliver something greater than I could alone.
This was the transition—the shift from “I need to be heard” to “I need to understand.”
Then came fatherhood.
Fatherhood took this lesson and deepened it even more. Suddenly, I wasn’t just listening to colleagues or employees—I was listening to my children, to the little voices who were looking up to me for guidance and understanding.
Sometimes, those same eyes stared back with defiance or frustration, the kind only a child can express.
That’s when I realized listening wasn’t about being patient until it was my turn to speak. It wasn’t about waiting to offer a solution or fixing a problem. It was about being fully present—absorbing what they were trying to say, reading between the lines, and responding with clarity and respect.
The best communicators listen first.
The best leaders always listen.
The best fathers listen closely.
Listening Isn’t Easy, But It’s Essential
The transition from speaker to listener wasn’t smooth. It took practice. It took humility. It took a willingness to admit I didn’t know it all, and that sometimes, my role was to be there, to give someone else the space to be heard.
As a father, this means tuning out distractions.
It means putting down my phone, closing the laptop, and giving my kids my full attention.
It means hearing the emotions behind their words, noticing the body language, sensing when something was off, even when they didn’t have the words to express it.
More days than I’d like to admit, coming home after a long day at work, it’s tough to be the father who listens with presence and patience. One of my worst habits—one I constantly have to fight—is sitting at the kitchen table to “be close” to the family, only to get frustrated when they ask questions or make noise. I say I’m there for them, but sometimes my actions tell a different story.
This is what I’ve learned: listening isn’t passive. It’s an active, deliberate choice to prioritize connection over control, presence over pretense.
In the example above, I have realized that working at the kitchen table and trying to “be close” to the family does not work. Work belongs in my home office downstairs with the door closed. Being close to my family means no laptop or phone.
Why Listening Matters
When we genuinely listen to our kids, we’re telling them:
- You matter to me.
- I hear you, not just your words but your feelings.
- You are safe here.
This creates a space where our kids feel confident enough to express themselves. They know they don’t have to be perfect. They know they’ll be heard, not judged. They know they can come to us with anything—whether it’s a small frustration or a big life challenge.
And that’s when the real magic of fatherhood happens.
The Day Warrior Mindset
A Day Warrior isn’t just someone who shows up for their family—they engage, they listen, they connect.
Listening is leadership.
Listening is love.
Listening is strength.
It’s not about waiting for your turn to talk. It’s not about having the right answer. It’s about making space for others to be heard, understood, and valued.
As fathers, as leaders, as Day Warriors—this is how we lead: with open ears, open hearts, and a willingness to grow.
A Challenge for You
This week, I challenge you to practice this Dad Hack:
- When your kids talk, stop what you’re doing. Put down the phone, turn off the TV, close the laptop.
- Listen—not just to the words, but to the feelings. Watch their body language, hear the tone behind their voice.
- Respond with empathy. Reflect back what you heard. Show them you’re listening.
- Journal about the experience. It is always important to record what you have learned during the week.
You don’t need to solve everything. You don’t need to have the perfect advice. You just need to be there—present, engaged, and listening.
In the End
The best fathers don’t just hear their kids—they truly listen to understand their hearts.
This isn’t just a Dad Hack. It’s a life-changing practice that builds trust, connection, and love.
Stay strong. Stay present. Stay listening.
The best fathers don’t just hear their kids—they truly listen to understand their hearts.
The Day Warrior
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– The Day Warrior.
